


A Different Kind of Love

by Zinka17



Category: Junjou Romantica
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Angst, Drunk Sex, Hurt/Comfort, Intoxication, Jealousy, M/M, Mild Gore, Non-Graphic Rape/Non-Con, Rape, Romance, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-02
Updated: 2016-12-02
Packaged: 2018-09-03 19:02:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,979
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8726533
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zinka17/pseuds/Zinka17
Summary: Usami has grown suspicious of Misaki, and the novelist's jealousy of Ijuuin is more evident than ever. When Misaki comes home one night, he finds out just how deep these negative feelings run. After getting betrayed by the man he loved, someone shows up to help him through his despair.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This is an older story that's already been on FanFiction and DeviantArt for a little over a year.

** Misaki’s POV: **

  
  


Ever since Usagi-san had caught Mr. Ijuuin and I talking outside of the café, his demeanor had changed. Jealousy was a normal thing with him, and of course it didn’t surprise me that he would be upset after he had witnessed another man confessing to me and then kissing me on the head. Not to mention Mr. Ijuuin had told him directly how he felt about me before all of that. But he knew I didn’t return the feelings.

  
  


At least… I thought he did. He said he trusted me, and that he hadn’t interfered with our last encounter because of that. I told him I would never leave him and that Mr. Ijuuin was nothing more than an idol to me.

  
  


I had managed to avoid him for a week after the incident. There were no calls or texts from him, and I hadn’t been asked to go to his place by my job. It was a huge relief, and it seemed as he had given up on me.

  
  


Usagi-san checked my phone every day. Each time I received a call, he would yell, “Who is it?”. If someone texted me, he would be peering over my shoulder reading the screen. I would wake up each morning to him going through the phone, and when he would find nothing from Mr. Ijuuin, he would ask if I had deleted the conversations. I would always tell him there was nothing to delete, but he would always act suspicious.

  
  


Every day when I came home from work, he would ask if I had been to Mr. Ijuuin’s apartment. And when I would say no, he would start hugging and kissing me repeatedly, telling me to say that I loved him. It was annoying to no end, but I knew this was how he was and had gotten used to it.

  
  


Even though I acted irritated, I secretly didn’t mind all the affection. To be so loved by someone was such a wonderful feeling. I thought it would always be that way.

  
  


But in just one night, that all changed.

  
  


I knew something was off when I came home from Marukawa one night. I had to stay late due to some extra work that needed to get done as soon as possible, and I had volunteered to do it. I made sure to text Usagi-san when I first found out, so he was well aware.

  
  


As I walked through the front door of our home, I saw there were cigarette butts scattered all over the carpet in the living room, and it reeked of smoke. Usagi-san had never smoked this much in a day, and was always sure to throw the remaining product away once he was done.

  
  


The next thing I noticed were cases of beer in the kitchen. It was rare that he drank, and this much was never in the home at one time. I was starting to worry as this whole thing was so out of character for him.

  
  


“Usagi-san?” I called out as I started walking to the bedroom we shared. There was no answer.

  
  


This was really bothering me. He was always so happy to see me when I arrived after being at work all day and he made sure to greet me with a hug and kiss. But with what I had discovered in the living room and kitchen, along with the silence in the house, I had grown really concerned.

  
  


I soon made it to the bedroom and slowly opened the door. What I saw horrified me.

  
  


The stuffed bears that he loved so much were all torn up, stuffing lying all over the place. There were holes in the wall, spilled cans of beer on the carpet, and even more cigarette butts. But that wasn’t the worst of it.

  
  


Usagi-san was sitting on the bed, his face in his hands with his elbows propped up on his legs. His silver hair was a mess, shirt torn in several places, and obvious alcohol stains on his clothes and the bed.

  
  


“U-Usagi-san?” I asked in a quiet voice. “What on Earth happened?!” I slowly walked towards him, my eyes wandering all over the room.

  
  


There was no response from him for several moments, until I felt my arm grabbed suddenly. I turned to him in surprise and he was looking up at me. Heavy, red eyes that made it appear as if he hadn’t slept in days were staring right at me, and to say he appeared angry was a huge understatement.

  
  


I made a slight squeaking noise as I felt extremely uncomfortable with the situation, and he quickly pulled me closer to him.

  
  


“Misaki… You’re late.”

  
  


His voice was low but terrifying, sounding much deeper than usual and his words being drawn out slightly longer.

  
  


“I-I told you I would be late! You replied to my text saying that it was alright!” I tried to yank my arm away, but his grip tightened, so much that it became painful.

  
  


“You were at his place again.”

  
  


I didn’t even need to ask to know what he was talking about. It was clear who he was referring to.

  
  


“Usagi-san, let go! You’re hurting me!” I ignored his statement for the moment as I was only focused on getting him to unhand me. With my free hand, I grabbed his wrist and attempted to pry it off of me, but it was no use. He was much stronger than me.

  
  


“You know how I feel about him. Why would you continue to go over there after what happened?”

  
  


This caused me to frown deeply. “Idiot! I told you I haven’t spoken to him since last week at the café! Now let go!”

  
  


“No.” He grabbed my other arm and pulled me down roughly so that I was sitting next to him. “You belong to me, and me only. I forbid you to see him again.” He started kissing me all over my face and neck, and his hands were grabbing at my thighs and crotch.

  
  


“Stop it!” I pushed him away and quickly got up, about to make a run for it. But he was faster and grabbed me again. This time he pushed me down onto the bed so that I was lying on my back, and he climbed on top of me before I could go anywhere.

  
  


“Don’t ignore my love Misaki. I refuse to give you to anyone else.” I felt a cold hand running up my stomach and chest. I shivered and squirmed around, wanting him to get off of me.

  
  


“I don’t want your love right now!” I attempted to push him away again, but I immediately felt a very hard and painful slap across my face. My eyes widened in shock and I remained silent, not believing what had just happened. Never before had he used violence on me. It was unreal. I never would have imagined that the man who claimed to love me so much could physically harm me.

  
  


Tears welled up in my eyes and I held my sore cheek. “U-Usagi-san…”

  
  


“Be quiet,” he growled as he started to undo my pants.

  
  


“No! I-I don’t want this! This isn’t like you!” He instantly shut me up by placing his lips on mine. I could taste the smoke and alcohol on him and it frightened me. He had never been this drunk before, and I didn’t want to know what else he was capable of in this state.

  
  


I sobbed as he began to pull my pants down, my boxers coming with them. My heart sank. He quickly pulled my shirt up over my head, leaving me completely bare.

  
  


Desperate to get away, I kneed him in the stomach and sat up. He yelled out, furious. My wrists were then grabbed, being held above my head with his strong grip. He moved his mouth to my left shoulder blade. Before I even knew what was happening, an excruciating pain seared through me and I screamed. His free hand covered my mouth to stifle the noise, and my eyes shut as tears slipped down my cheeks. He had bitten down so hard that blood was trickling down my shoulder, and I knew a hideous scar would be there permanently.

  
  


Everything else happened so fast and I was too paralyzed from fear to even attempt to move. Every part of my body ached and I refused to look at him as he forcefully took me. It was the most painful thing I had ever experienced, and was nothing like the gentleness he had always shown me before when we became intimate.

  
  


This wasn’t love. The fact that I had spent the last few years of my life with this man, thinking we would always be happy together, now made me sick to my stomach.

  
  


Once he had finished, he grabbed my chin, tilting my face up towards him.

  
  


“Look at me,” he demanded.

  
  


I kept my eyes shut and shook my head, my face soaked with tears. When I disobeyed him he tightened his grip on my jaw, causing me to whimper and do as he commanded. I shook from pure terror as I looked up at the man I once loved.

  
  


“You’re mine. Don’t you fucking forget it. You’re quitting your job at Marukawa tomorrow. I never want to hear that son of a bitch’s name again, and he isn’t coming anywhere near you. Do you understand?”

  
  


I said nothing, swallowing hard. When I didn’t reply he frowned and dug his nails into my wrists.

  
  


“Y-Yes!” I cried out, fresh tears coming to my eyes.

  
  


“Good.” He kissed me roughly one last time and I shut my eyes again. The feeling of his lips disgusted me now and I was praying that he would go away. Luckily, a few moments later I felt my wrists being released and the bed shifted as he got up. He grabbed his clothes and got dressed, then left the room without another word.

  
  


I curled up on the bed, crying harder than I ever had before. I felt so dirty and used, not knowing what I would do when I had to face that monster again. All those sweet things he had said to me before, about not being able to stand the thought of losing me, didn’t mean a thing to me now. I wanted nothing to do with him, but didn’t know what to do. I had nowhere to go and was terrified of what would happen if he were to catch me leaving.

  
  


I stayed on the bed for awhile until I finally found the strength to sit up. My entire body was sore, and I looked down at my wrists which now had horrible bruises on them. The blood on my shoulder had dried, and it felt like it was on fire when I moved it.

  
  


Slowly, I stood up, my legs wobbly. I had to hold onto the wall as I carefully made my way out of the bedroom.

  
  


The only thing I could think of right now was Usagi-san- No, I couldn’t call him that anymore. That was the nickname I had adopted from my brother, but now it only made me shudder in disgust.

  
  


I was afraid that Usami would catch me leaving the room and come back. Looking down the hallway in both directions, I concluded that he was in the living room and couldn’t see me. As quickly as I could, I went into the bathroom, closing and locking the door behind me. My hands were shaking as I did so. He had surely heard the door close and although it was locked, he had a key to it. If he wanted to he could come in at any time. I dreaded the thought.

  
  


The water in the tub was turned to just above warm and I waited for it to fill up. While I did, I glanced at my reflection in the mirror and was repulsed with what I saw. I was so hideous. My shoulder looked repulsive with the dried blood and bite marks. The bruises were on not only my wrists, but also my jaw and cheek. My peridot-colored eyes that were usually so full of life were now dull and pitiful. I hated myself.

  
  


I quickly wiped my eyes which were starting to water again and got in the tub once it was full. I stayed in there for about half an hour, scrubbing furiously at myself, but no matter how many times I washed myself, I still felt dirty. I was miserable, but knew that I couldn’t stay in there all night, so I soon got out and dried off.

  
  


Once again, I feared leaving the room because I didn’t want to alert  _ him.  _ My clothes were in the main bedroom, so I went in there to grab them as fast as I could, but then made my way to one of the spare bedrooms. I couldn’t stand to be in the other room after what had taken place there.

  
  


As I got dressed, overwhelming thoughts ran through my head. What would I do now? I couldn’t stay there, but leaving was just as hard. I had nowhere to go. There was no way I could ask Nii-chan to get me. I wouldn’t dare tell him of what had happened, and he lived over six hours away. There wasn’t anyone else I was close enough to for me to ask that kind of help from, and even if there was, I was scared to reveal the truth of why I had to leave.

  
  


Even if I  _ did  _ have somewhere to go, how would I leave? With that horrible man here, I was stuck. The only chance I would have to escape would be when he was asleep.

  
  


Then it occurred to me.

  
  


Things had been very quiet in the living room, and if the amount of discarded beer cans were any indication, he had likely consumed a great amount of alcohol. Enough to knock him out for awhile.

  
  


Now fully dressed, I took a major risk and opened the bedroom door, slowly heading down the hallway. Once I was at the end, I carefully peeked out into the living room. My spirits were instantly lifted when I saw that Usami was fast asleep on the couch. I was still very nervous though. What if he awoke when I opened the front door? The thought of him catching me was terrifying. But the fact that I at least had a chance to get away gave me hope.

  
  


So without wasting a second, I hurried to get my shoes on and grabbed my phone. The next moments felt like an eternity.

  
  


The only sounds I could hear were that of the soft snoring coming from the couch, along with my racing heart.

  
  


My hand slowly reached for the doorknob, turning it. I bit my lip and opened the door as carefully as I could. The last thing I wanted was for it to creak. I glanced over at the sleeping figure to see if he had stirred, and he hadn’t.

  
  


Once the door was open enough for me to walk through, I stepped outside. I was so close.

  
  


Even more cautious than before, I closed the door. When it clicked shut I made a run for it. There was no checking now to see if he had awoken. I had to hurry and get far away from that house.

  
  


I was sore all over and felt my energy quickly draining, but I didn’t care. I ran until I reached Mitsuhashi University, panting heavily as I tried to catch my breath.

  
  


Then, with shaky hands, I took my phone out. I stared at it for a long time, wondering if I should really go through with this.

  
  


With a heavy sigh, I decided I had no other choice.

  
  


The phone was up to my ear a few moments later. I listened anxiously as it rang several times. This was a stupid idea. It was almost midnight. He was surely asleep and it was insane for me to call at this hour and disturb him.

  
  


Just as I was about to hang up, however, I heard a familiar voice.

  
  


“This is a pleasant surprise.”

  
  


I gasped a little, not knowing how I should respond. I didn’t expect him to actually answer.

  
  


“Misaki?”

  
  


I took a deep breath before speaking. “Mr. Ijuuin… C-Could you pick me up?” There was no response on the other end, and I wondered if I had upset him. “I-I’m sorry! I know I shouldn’t be calling so late, but I didn’t know who else to go to, and…” I had started tearing up, and it was evident in my voice.

  
  


“Misaki, I’m leaving right now. Where are you?”

  
  


~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

  
  


I only had to wait a few minutes before he showed up. Looking down, I slowly walked over to the car. I hesitated a moment before opening the front passenger side door and getting in, and when I did I could immediately feel Mr. Ijuuin’s eyes on me.

  
  


“Misaki, what happened?” Concern was written all over his voice. I knew it was too dark for him to see the bruises, and my shoulder was covered by my shirt, so there was no way for him to know I had been hurt.

  
  


“I... I sincerely apologize for bothering you! I-If I woke you up-”

  
  


“There’s no need to apologize, Misaki,” he said in a kind voice. He reached a hand over, putting it on top of mine. I flinched at the touch, which he noticed. He took his hand away and moved it to the steering wheel. “We’ll be at my house shortly. Strap yourself in okay?”

  
  


I nodded and did as he said, waiting for us to arrive. I was so anxious and worried, not knowing what I would say to him.

  
  


Neither of us talked the rest of the car ride, and the night’s events kept replaying in my head over and over again. I hadn’t realized it when we got to the apartment until Mr. Ijuuin’s voice brought my out of my thoughts.

  
  


“We’re here.”

  
  


“Oh, y-yeah.” I took my seatbelt off and got out of the car, then followed Mr. Ijuuin inside. He turned the light on right away and closed the door behind me. “Make yourself at home.”

  
  


“Thank you…” I walked over to the couch and sat down, looking at the floor.

  
  


“Would you like something to drink?” He offered.

  
  


“No thank you,” I replied.

  
  


“Alright.” I felt the couch shift as he sat beside me, and my heart sped up as he turned to face me. There was no way to hide anymore. “Misaki…” His hand moved up and he gently pressed the back of it to my cheek that had the bruise on it.

  
  


I started shaking, afraid to explain how I had received it. I glanced up and saw him eyeing the other bruises that were visible on my jaw and wrists. After several moments, he spoke.

  
  


“Did Mr. Usami do this to you?”

  
  


My eyes widened. How did he know?

  
  


I said nothing, but teared up instantly. The next thing I knew, his arms were around me, holding me in a warm embrace.

  
  


I couldn’t hold the tears back and let them flow freely as I hugged him back tightly, closing my eyes as I buried my face in his chest.

  
  


“I’ve got you Misaki. You’re safe now.” He whispered. He rubbed my back soothingly as I cried. There was nothing I wanted more than to be held by him at that moment. Being in his arms was so comforting, and I felt like nothing could harm me. After a few minutes I had calmed down some and pulled back a little to look at him.

  
  


“Mr. Ijuuin…” T-Thank you so much for picking me up. I-If it weren’t for you, I don’t know what I would have done.” I sniffled, wiping my eyes.

  
  


“Of course Misaki. You know I would do anything for you.” He gave me a warm smile and gently held my wrist, rubbing it with his thumb. “I swear I won’t let that monster come anywhere near you.”

  
  


I nodded, trembling a little as I thought back to what had happened earlier. “It was so unlike him… He’s never hurt me before, but he had been drinking a lot and- a-after all of this mistrust in me, he finally snapped.” I took a shaky breath before continuing. “He didn’t believe me when I said I hadn’t talked to you since last week, a-and when I tried to get away, he hit me and… raped me.” I whispered the last part, crying once again. With a shaky hand I pulled my left shirt sleeve up, revealing where I had been bitten. “H-He also did this.”

  
  


Mr. Ijuuin frowned deeply, pure hatred in his eyes. “That bastard! He won’t get away with this. Once he’s arrested and everyone finds out about this, he’ll be finished.”

  
  


That scared me. Our relationship had already been kept a secret from the world, and for them to find out about it like this was a horrible thought. I looked down, a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach.

  
  


“Don’t worry. Everything will be okay. I’ll be here to help you through it all. I love you Misaki. So much. And I promise to protect you.” He caressed my cheek and placed a soft kiss on my forehead.

  
  


My heart sped up again, feeling like it would beat right out of my chest. I had heard those words from him twice before, but now, they made me feel warm inside. I had loved him for years, ever since I was a child. His manga had always been such a big part of my life, and he was my idol. I adored him. But it wasn’t romantic love I felt. It was nothing more than a fan’s devotion.

  
  


I wasn’t sure if that was still the case.

  
  


He had shown me so much kindness, and without him I would still be wandering outside, unsure of where to go. I knew he would never hurt me or treat me in a harsh way as Usami had done, and I didn’t want to leave his side.

  
  


But I shook my head at his proclamation. “H-How could you love someone like me? There’s nothing special about me. I’m just an ordinary boy…” Although I was 22, I couldn’t call myself a man anymore. I was only a broken and frightened boy.

  
  


“You’re anything but ordinary Misaki. You have such a big heart, and your kind words saved me. Without you I wouldn’t have come out of my slump, and I wouldn’t have experienced love. You’ve changed my life and I can’t imagine not having you in it.” He ran his fingers through my hair and I melted into the touch, but looked down a moment later.

  
  


“Mr. Ijuuin… I- I don’t see how you could love someone like me. I’m a disgrace.”

  
  


“No, you’re not. You’re amazing, beautiful, and perfect in every way. I wouldn’t change a thing about you.” He kissed me on the cheek where I had been hit, and it felt as if all the pain had instantly been taken away.

  
  


I sniffled a little and looked up at him, a genuine smile on my face. “Thank you,” I whispered.

  
  


“You don’t have to thank me. It’s only the truth.” He took his thumb and used it to wipe my remaining tears away. I smiled more and closed my eyes, resting my head on his chest.

  
  


“I love you Mr. Ijuuin.”

  
  


“I love you too Misaki.”

  
  


Maybe, what I felt for him was a different kind of love than I had originally thought.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Don’t hate me for making Usami the bad guy. I have nothing against him.
> 
> It seems possible that he could do something like this though if he became extremely drunk. I know how much he loves Misaki and would never hurt him if he was thinking clearly. This is just a scenario that could be.
> 
> A wonderful fan drew a picture of Misaki based on the story, which can be seen here: http://accecakes.deviantart.com/art/Junjou-Romantica-A-different-kind-of-love-570935045


End file.
